Kev Hill wrote:
What do you think of this logline?
Title: H2O Ã¢â‚¬â€œ Hindrances to Opportunities.
Genre: Teen Drama (I think!! Not too sure exactly what genre it is!)
A nonÃ¢â‚¬â€œcompetitive traceur (Parkour/free runner) is forced into a competition to avenge his friendÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s death and draw out his killer.
I would avoid use of parentheses. Use a word or phrase that is clearly understood by itself.
The phrase ‘non-competitive” grabs my interest. It’s not typical… and it speaks to the person’s character. However, I would not use both it and “competition” in the same sentence.
How is this competition going to help draw out the killer? Will the killer come out in public to compete, hence allowing the police to arrest him? Maybe you could phrase it more concretely.